He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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