Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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