it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
