ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
