I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
