just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
A+ Viking dick
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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