My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
