Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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