Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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