wanna go halves on a baby?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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