thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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