do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
