so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
