508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
