glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
