I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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