M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
