oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
