so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
