conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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