I cockslap morals
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
