I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
