she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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