when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So much Jack, so little girl.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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