Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
