Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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