dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
