Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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