yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
