Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Im part way to drunk.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
