When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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