She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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