I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
