I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize