Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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