You're completely useless in the revolution.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
