they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
