All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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