i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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