Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize