i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
