he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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