so that wasnt chicken after all
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
