dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
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