Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
