Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
