Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
