I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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