with your own penis?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize