I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
