Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
