I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
