You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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