Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
