We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
