how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
