That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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