I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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