Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
